Signs that an online romance is actually a catfishing fraud

The FBI says that in 2018, more than 18,000 people fell victim to catfishing scams, with estimated losses exceeding $362 million.

Romance is not completely dead, but the days of wining and dining a potential love interest have given way to kissy-face emojis, lurid emails and sexting.

Nearly half of Americans age 18 to 29 now use dating sites and apps to search for their next crush, according to the Pew Research Center, and roughly one in 10 are in committed relationships with people they met that way. Online daters say it’s an easy and fast way to meet someone with similar interests.

The sheer volume of people looking for love online means the captive audience for catfishing has never been so crowded. These deceptive digital crooks lure in would-be romantics using fake identities with the intention of tricking or defrauding them. The FBI says that in 2018, more than 18,000 people fell victim to catfishing scams, with estimated losses exceeding $362 million.

What are the most common online romantic scams?

According to the FTC’s 2019 Consumer Sentinel Network Data Book, romance scams increased by roughly 50% from 2017 to 2019, reaching a record total of 25,147 reported romance scams last year. Scarily, the median reported loss to romance scams is seven times higher than for other frauds. Ultimately, like other fraudsters, romance scammers’ end goal is purely to profit from their victims. Below are some of the most common tactics to look out for so you don’t fall prey to these romantic swindlers this Valentine’s Day:

• They’re coming on really strong. You, of course, want your online dating endeavors to be successful, but could it be this easy? You’ve barely engaged with this person, and he’s already declaring his undying love for you. It’s difficult not to get wrapped up in it, and he even wants to meet this week. Unfortunately, he cancels last minute because something tragic has come up; his mother is in the hospital and the family needs money ASAP. He pops the question (but it’s the one you were hoping he wouldn’t ask): “Could you please wire money so that my mother can get the care she deserves?” This is a classic tale of romance scamming, and yet millions have fallen for it — and will continue to.

• They sound like a robot. (Hint: It’s because it is!) If their responses aren’t matching up to what you said, or they’re spamming you with messages directing you to another site, report the profile immediately — and definitely don’t click on any links they’ve sent. These other sites will either try to trick you into entering your personal information, including payment data, or they’ll install malware on your computer, which will then harvest your sensitive information. The good news is that these “bots” are fairly easy to spot: their profile pictures tend to be low quality and are pulled straight from Google. Also, most times their profile pictures aren’t even of the same person — a clear red flag!

• It seems too good to be true. She looks like a model; her profile bio seems to describe the perfect catch, and, lo and behold, she wants you! The nonstop flattery feels nice, and for a person that’s been lonely for a long time, it’s difficult not to indulge. But then propositions for gifts are made — or worse, credit card information. Unfortunately, there are plenty of people who give in because they don’t want this newfound “relationship” to end.

 Let’s face it: almost everyone wants to find love, and today’s digital age has made it easier than ever to do so. As with most things, scammers have found ways to get in on the fun — or rather, take advantage of it. When people are lonely or feeling hurt from a past relationship that didn’t pan out, it’s a bit easier to overlook warning signs (no matter how glaring they may be). Unlike other scams, the reward is potentially a lifetime of happiness if their suitor is indeed the real deal — and most people want to believe that more than anything. Some scammers even home in people that are recently divorced or who are in a particularly vulnerable situation (i.e., just got out of an abusive relationship). They can learn this information via social media if you don’t have your account set to private and you’re prone to sharing this type of information on your profile. This is just another reason to ensure you’re not publicly oversharing on social networking sites; otherwise, you’re making fraudsters jobs all the easier as they can learn tidbits about you which will help them curate the perfect “pick-up.”

Outside of trusting your gut when your intuition tells you something is off (even if you can’t put your finger on it), there are some other telltale warning signs that should never be ignored.

• Her profile pictures all look like they’re from professional photoshoots, and she can’t provide a single candid.

• He’s canceled in-person plans last minute — over and over again.

• She says she’s local but seems to have no knowledge of the area.

• And despite growing up here, her messages contain more than just typos — there’s definitely a language disconnect.

• He wants to keep your conversation strictly on the phone and refuses to use Skype or FaceTime, despite saying he wants to see you.

If you can check off just one of these red flags, that doesn’t necessarily mean you should sound the alarms, but proceed with extreme caution and do your due diligence. Below are some additional tips to keep in mind as you navigate the sometimes scary world of online dating, which can help keep your heart (and money) out of the hands of scammers.

• Stick with using larger, established dating websites, which have safeguards in place to catch and block fraudulent profiles.

• If your love interest is asking for personal information that seems too sensitive, say no — and this especially goes for credit card information.

• If you have an identity protection plan in place, see if they have any kind of scam assistance service, like Generali Global Assistance. These types of services will do all the research for you to let you know if the person vying for your attention is legitimate or not.

Ultimately, if you keep your financial information to yourself — as you should do in any budding relationship — you’ll stay scam-free on Valentine’s Day.